Throughout education there are linear marks of progression, going through the different years and various qualifications. So it’s totally natural to feel a bit confused when there aren’t these clearly defined stages in your adult life.
It seems, in no particular order, to go a bit like: get a job, find a partner, buy a house, get married, have kids. So what happens when you buy a house at 23 but haven’t planned on having kids or getting married until 30? Or maybe you’ve found the perfect job and partner but can’t afford a house or family for another ten years? How do you make sure those years don’t just go in the blink of an eye?
It’s a cliche, but it really is important to do things at your own pace when you’re an adult. It doesn’t matter if someone you knew from school has got a really good job, managed to buy a house and seems really happy with their partner – because who actually defined those factors as the ‘be all and end all’ of adulthood?
If you don’t want to buy a house until you’re 45 because you want to spend your younger years travelling the world, that’s fine. If you want to do a variety of jobs and aim to try something new every few years, then that’s okay. It’s all about setting the pace for you.
How to create your own path to follow
One way to not get affected by others’ lives is to set yourself some key goals, values and beliefs. Looking at what you think is your key vision in life can help you choose what you want to do in various aspects of your adult life.
Find a quiet evening or a rainy day, sit by yourself and really think about what it is you consider as success or happiness. Setting yourself these key goals will help you to stick to your path and not care about what everyone else is doing.
Think of it like this: if you were to start a business, you’d set yourself some core visions and values about where you want the company to go and achieve. So shouldn’t we be doing the same for ourselves in adult life?
Thinking about decisions in a way that reflects our key motivations could be something like: ‘I’m going to take this job because it resonates with my growth vision’, ‘I’m taking this time out because it demonstrates my decision to practice self-love’.
Set yourself some key goals, values and beliefs
If you set your whole persona and life around these visions and values, it could be much easier to find a route through life that you enjoy. Rather than constantly wondering whether you should be doing something else or regretting a certain choice.
It is really difficult to get out of the habit of comparing yourself and your situation to others but it is truly important to learn not to. Work out the things that you want from your life, and follow the path that you would like to create for yourself.
Do you have any visions and values that guide your life? Leave a comment below to inspire others!
Or if you’d like some more help with personal goals, check out my post about attainable goal setting here.